Drinking Poison

"Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for it to kill your enemy." -Nelson Mandela.

A beautiful Sunday morning. Happy children playing in the park, dogs chasing each other in the enclosure. Then, hot coffee thrown in my face, body pushed to the ground and kicked while my terrified children screamed “Mommy!”

After the shock subsided, the police report made, and the children safely tucked in to bed, I clenched in fear, anger and disbelief. I need to be free of this in order to have any kind of peace.

Today, my boss told me that forgiveness was the key to letting this go and allowing me to sleep at night and feel safe again.

I thought about that. My attacker will never know if she is forgiven or not, and probably doesn’t care, but I deserve to be free of this evil.

I have a responsibility to myself and to my children to show that the obstacles she tried to create were not significant enough to affect me. The gift she gave me was the knowledge of just how much I am loved and cared-for by family, friends, colleagues and my social circle. Moreover my husband’s devotion to me was made evident again.

I learned again that, for all the bad press they endure, the police are here to keep us safe.

How to forgive: When the attack comes to mind, I have to send my attacker a blessing; “May she find the help she needs,”. Honestly, this is hard and it doesn’t feel authentic at all. But I’ll keep doing it until it’s gone.

And last of all...I will not tell this story any more.