I Warned You

Ha!

I did it.

MySELF! Didn't even go to a fancy salon. I bought a box of revenge at the drugstore and ah did it mahself.

So there.

A Letter to my Hair

Dear Hair,

I've washed and dried you....taken you to fancy salons. I've done everything I could think of that would make you happy. I've even flipped you to make a point.

And yet, you insist on turning grey. I'M ONLY 39! Why are you doing this to me? Was it the time I got corn-braids a la Bo Derek? Did that piss you off? Because I took the beads out, like two weeks later. Sheesh.

Maybe you don't like the scorching from the hot iron. Yeah. That would bug me. But remember, I only do it because you refuse to cooperate. I told you to go smooth, and you went all crazy bush lady on me. That was not cool. I warned you repeatedly that if you did not behave, I would take out the In Styler.

Oh, what - you're saying YOU're the boss of me?

Fine then. This is called Clairol. Don't think I won't use it.

Love,
Me

We All Laugh in the Same Language

We've been playing a three-day-long game of charades.

Verena's parents are visiting. They are from a small farming village in Austria. They are staying with us. They don't speak any English.

My high school German isn't terrifically helpful.

ME: I have a red pencil case.

THEM: How nice for you.

ME: How are you?

THEM:Fine. Thank you. And you?

ME: Fine. Thank you. And you?

THEM:Didn't we already do this?

ME: The mouse is under the table.

THEM:What?

ME: What?

Verena absolutely cannot leave the room. Then we all panic.

But then there are kids and animals. They don't need language to communicate friendship. The Little Girl went from person to person pushing on their nose and saying, BEEEEEP! They thought this was delightful. Apparently. They enjoy being tickled in any language - the kids do, not her parents (although, admittedly I haven't tried this yet).

Dog walked quietly over to Hans and sat beside him. He put his furry little head on Hans' knee and it was clear that this was an animal who understood a man who understands animals. It was a lovely moment.