Enough already!

The problem with assholes is that they wind up having kids. And kids learn from example.

Reproducing is easy. Parenting, not so much. Having sex doesn't qualify you for parent-hood any more than having a big fancy party prepares you for marriage.

We went to a charity hockey game last night. One of the most memorable aspects of it was the row of kids behind us who were incapable of holding popcorn bags upright. I am sympathetic to physical disabilities - until they wind up on my head. Twice. Then you might want to HOLD IT FOR THEM, YOU FUCKING MORON! STOP GIVING THEM MORE!

What is WRONG with you?

CONTROL YOUR SPAWN! Now, I know that I can be be Sourpuss Bitch, (I'm not bragging, I'm just stating a fact) but am I overreacting if I leap over the seats and try to strangle them after ten minutes of saying, "Hey, don't kick the seat, okay? Thanks!" and they're still doing it, as well as crashing into my kids' heads...?

I know this might sound crazy, but as the parent - you are actually responsible for your children.

Just sayin'.