Gmail is Freaking Me Out

So I sit down for the first time today and get ready to have a quick Gmail chat with Husband. I guiltily tuck into a Draft Root Beer (too much sugar but sooooo good) and the first sponsored links I see on my Gmail page are

BARIATRIC SURGERY


SPECIAL K CHALLENGE

and
KASHI: Cereal Nutritional Value.

And I say, "Come ON Gmail! It's just a root beer! One. Give me a break!"

And then I realize, I am a profoundly disturbed individual.

Exhibit A:
I am talking to my laptop

Exhibit B
I am assuming that it is sentient

Exhibit C
I am so paranoid that I think it's sentient and mean-spirited.

And this is why I am absolutely insane.