The Anxiety Olympics

Welcome to another day of Anxiety Olympics ladies and gentlemen! We're here at Pearson International Airport, which has been beautifully designed to overwhelm the travellor. Now, first up, we have the Canadian contender here, she's going to check in with...oh, she's got TWO bags plus a carry on. So her coach has really piled on the weight for this one. Looking carefully at the luggage, one of the zippers doesn't work, so that will of course add to the stress level. So she's fully kitted out for the event.

There's the starter gun! She's off, looking bewildered - which we often expect here - and she's going up to a uniformed person and asking which lineup she should be in. Okay now, that's going to cut down on her anxiety significantly, so she's knocking some points off right there. Off she goes to stand in a very long line. Oh...she's looking very calm and controlled. Wait until she's been standing there for thirty minutes and they tell her she's in the wrong line. We'll check back in.

Yes! We've seen the first sign of freakage...she's got it in check. Just went obediently to another line. Okay - so far, she's relatively unfazed. All good. The other team has thrown in a few loud Germans, which is always very effective in upping the stress level, but our gal seems to be managing. Alright, it's been twenty minutes and here she goes up to the second desk now. Let's watch:

The ticket is for the 19th of March, not February. This is it folks! This is the make or break part - how will she handle the news that she's not getting on this plane? Oh, wait - I see the hyperventilating start. And she's off! The hands are shaking, and...oh she's pulling out a cell phone. She's on the phone with her coach - it looks like she using some strong language and waving her arms around in the air.

Former Anxiety Olympian, Jerzy Spazz is here to comment, "Typically, people under these pressures exhibit all kinds of responses, but the Canadian here in the Anxiety Olympics is displaying a classic show of panic. Her execution is perfect! The brow is expertly knitted and you can tell just how much training has gone into the arm movements. An anxiety athlete can actually speed up her heart rate with this kind of focus on doom."

Wait...it looks like something has happened. The gate closes in 6 minutes. The coach will have arranged a last-minute seat deal. Yes. There it is! She's checked her bags, she sprinting to security. The shoes are off, the bag stowed...through the metal detector without any resistance, down the escalators, knocking a few people around...and there's the loud-speaker, "This is the final boarding call for Air Canada flight 1169 with service to Vancouver. All passengers must now be on board,". That's the final momentum, there she goes - full sprint to the gate...and...

and...

she makes it!

Gold for the Canadian!