Seriously? You want me to write about poop?
Okay!
Since I've got this messed-up system, sometimes things don't work as they should. This one was, in actual fact, not my fault. (Most system fuck-ups are my doing.) And I became obsessed with Beethoven's movement - or lack thereof.
So, seeing as I enjoy the pharmaceutical world and all its many offerings, I downed a couple of pieces of chocolate Ex-Lax. Tasty. Mmmms. Maybe just one mor....NO! THINK! DAMNIT!
I resisted the tastiness and went to bed.
The next morning...all was well. Oh yeah. Alleluia and all that.
Off I went to work, in my newly relaxed state. Mid-morning rolls around and I'm offered a scrumptious latte. Now, not really thinking about the laxative properties of a latte I slurp it down.
Ten minutes later - no joke- I have the kind of urge that makes me push people out of the way to get to the bathroom, where I practically need a seat belt just to stay on the toilet. Oh God.
Thankfully nobody else was in there. Phew! Okay - that's taken care of. Back to work....NO! WAIT! Here it is again! OMYGODGETOUTOFMYWAY!!!! I kept thinking, "She's gonna blow!"
There was someone in the washroom.
No. Just no.
I apologize to everyone, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
So I did.
About four times that day.
Lesson learned.
2 comments:
Ahaha! See, this makes me happy...'cause now I know that I'm not the only one who panics when there is someone else in there!
I work with a woman, however, who has no such fear. Normally she's quiet as a mouse, but in the loo she has no issues with making noise, no matter who's around!It never fails to amaze me. She sighs, she grunts, she whoops...she may be giving birth in there....3 shows daily: 10, 2 and 5.
ha ha, i laugh so hard when i hear someone grunting in the toilet next to me :P I am so sensitive that i actually ran an experiment on a camp with 3 of my youth girls...we all waited till we had to release the toxic waste from our bodies and then had 3 of us use our method of avoiding the splashing noise. The fourth person judged...for the record, putting a layer of toilet paper on the surface of the water was the hands down winner :P
Now, I am horribly sorry Karryn, but i need further clarification...
"There was someone in the washroom.
No. Just no.
I apologize to everyone, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do."
Does this mean what I think it means? or should i stop being nosey? :P
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